alwaysonguard

It had been a few days (for Dwight at least) since his hurried departure from Fandom. But as if a funeral wasn't bad enough, his day was about to get worse...a lot worse actually.

(NFB due to distance, head canon catch up time, OOCs are welcome!
Warning for trauma, family dysfunction, and typical Haven related traumatic stuffs
Pre-played with myself XD)

Dwight	Dwight's head was filled to overflowing with thoughts and feelings. So many thoughts. And oh so many feelings. All regarding family... to one extent or another. The new family he was finding and growing attached to, back on the island that he was already missing more than he had anticipated. The 'what if' of potential families that had been so obviously and somewhat painfully displayed to him and Amaya on multiple occasions over the past month. And the spark of hope of reconnecting with what was left of his blood family when Helen finally reached out to him after all these years. All of that, that hope and that possibility of a new family, of no longer having to be alone... all of that, just to have it dashed to pieces at his feet. The week or so had been a dizzying whirlwind of activity, much he barely remembered. One thing was crystal clear though, no matter how much he wanted to ignore it or forget about it....even for just a moment.... There was no forgetting the terrible truth that had brought him here to Cleveland in the first place. Helen was dead. He had just finished burying her, in a ceremony that had barely half a dozen people in attendance. His sister, one of the two last surviving family members he had left. She was dead now. And for all intent and purpose, Dwight knew he was alone. Or... at least mostly alone. As he stood there on the pier, looking out over the water of the lake, the heavy sound of footsteps echoed loudly on the wooden boards. And a moment later, the familiar smell of booze and cigarettes hit Dwight's nose, and he sighed, knowing full well who was standing behind him, even before they uttered a single word. "You can't even bother to be sober for something like this?" Dwight said, a cold and disgusted tone apparent as he stared out over the water, not even bothering to turn around.
Tavin	"Who are you to judge how I choose to cope?" a gruff voice said in reply, the same voice and growl that had been a constant of those childhood years. "You might have lost your sister, I lost my daughter!" Dwight turned around and looked up at the figure behind him, barely containing the outward wince at having to look at the man standing there after all this time. He looked older, which was to be expected, but still as gruff and cold as Dwight remembered from the last time they had seen each other so many years ago. The man stood there in an old suit jacket that looked like it hadn't been worn in a decade, which was probably not far from the truth if the worn fabric and poor fit were any indication. A loose and undone tie hung around his neck and the collar of his equally ill-fitted shirt was unbuttoned. There was a lot more gray in his hair and a good bit more wrinkles than Dwight remembered but otherwise he looked pretty much the same.
Dwight	"A daughter you didn't even care about, you mean?" he replied coldly. "You never even tried to get involved with either of us. No wonder you never won any Father of the Year awards!"
Tavin	"Don't you dare judge me!" his father snapped back, his words sounding slightly slurred to any ear not used to his gruff voice and cadence, and the fact he was usually talking with a cigarette of some kind balancing between his lips. "You have no room to judge me, Tavin."
Dwight	Dwight visibly bristled at hearing that name. "Don't call me that!" he said through clenched teeth.
Tavin	"Hell, I will call you that if I want. It's the name I gave you, after all!"
Dwight	"My name is Dwight. Not Tavin." Dwight looked at his father with a glare that, fortunately, not many had seen. Because it would likely dispel any and all ideas of him being a 'nice guy' and all that. It was a look that had largely been reserved for his father, and Dwight was already feeling that tension settle into his shoulders and that knot form in his stomach. He knew he would likely have to deal with the old man, but still was not prepared for the waves of emotions that washed over him now that the man was standing right there.
Tavin	"You still going the fuck on about this? I gave you the name Tavin. I named you after me. You are my son, my twin, my mirror." The pitch and tone of voice had definitely gone up a bit, now that the cigarette was held between fingers rather than in his mouth. It was edged with a familiar growl that had been a near constant presence for Dwight growing up.
Dwight	"I am not, Tavin!" Dwight said, jaw tight as he clenched his hands tightly trying to control himself as he glared at his father. It had been five years since they had last spoken.... And that was five years too soon as far as Dwight was concerned, since nothing had obviously changed in all that time.
Tavin	There was a cold, almost icey sneer from his father at that. "The fuck you are! I gave you the name Tavin. Whether you accept it or not, whether you embrace it or not. Doesn't matter. It's your name and always will be. You can't escape who you are. What you are. My son, my heir."
Dwight	"I am nothing like you. And I never will be" Dwight said slowly and firmly. "I know what the name means. You wanted someone to be your twin, to be like you, to carry on your hate and loathing for those who are different, Sorry to disappoint you, father. I will never be anything like you!"
Tavin	"You will come around," his father said with a chuckle. "You are the last Hendrickson in our family line. You won't let your old man down and prove what a failure you are." Ah yes there it was, that passive aggressiveness, among a host of other things, that had also been a staple for most of his kids' upbringing. Wonderful father material there this one...
Dwight	Dwight sat in silence, trying to push back the thundering wall of proverbial water that threatened to knock down the walls he had built up over the years when it came to his old man. It threatened to wash him away, to drown him all over again and Dwight had to fight to take a breath and get back in control. "Why are you even here? You didn't care about Helen. You don't care about me. The last five years have proven that."
Tavin	"Course I did. You have just always been too blind to see, to realize how much you needed me, and to stop rejecting me when I tried to help you."
Dwight	This time it was Dwight's turn to give a cold and harsh laugh of his own. "I know what it means to love and care for a child. You never once showed that you cared about me. You have never cared about anyone other than yourself or if someone could do something to help you in some way."
Tavin	"I wanted you to be strong and self sufficient. Like me. Not like my old man." Tavin looked at his son for a moment and shook his head. "I wanted better for you so you didn't end up like him. Scared. Pathetic. Weak. Always hiding behind a supposed curse to cover up his own fear and failures." Tavin took a long slow drag from the cigarette, burning it down to the filter and then tossing it casually off the pier and into the water before he continued. "I broke free from the so-called family curse. And I wanted you and your sister to be able to do the same. I wanted you to be strong and to survive. Which you did... for a time at least."
Dwight	"Through no help from you really" Dwight snapped back. "You nearly got me killed and you got Helen killed in actuality!"
Tavin	"That is your own weaknesses that brought that on you. You both have obviously not been strong enough to fight and to protect yourselves. You couldn't even protect your own daughter from the Trouble curse either!"
Dwight	And at that moment, Dwight's vision flashed red and it was all he could do not grab his father and throw him off the pier and into the water, where his drunk ass would hopefully drown. After a few minutes of silence, when he finally trusted himself somewhat more to speak and not totally lose control, Dwight looked at his father, a cold hard stare still fixed on him. "Why? I... I want... I need to know why? Why didn't you tell me, all those years ago, about the family Trouble? You knew... you knew I was going to enlist. And yet you said nothing. Why?"
Tavin	Tavin was silent for a moment as well, his eyes locked to Dwight's until the silence got more uncomfortable than anything else. "Because there is no family Trouble. The Troubles are a convenient lie, a curse upon the weak, a judgment from our god upon those he deems worthy of punishment for some reason. There is no good that comes from the Troubles and only death and suffering follow, just as any judgment from god should." Tavin took out another cigarette from the pack and lit it before continuing, ignoring the stare that Dwight was now giving him by this point. "The righteous do not need to fear the Troubles because they have nothing to fear from our god. He blesses those who are good and righteous and punishes those who are not. It is as simple as that. The good can earn their freedom and blessings and those afflicted with Troubles can beg for forgiveness and receive it by repenting and turning back to god. There is no need to accept the Troubles. They are but a curse and a sign that one needs to repent and seek god."
Dwight	Dwight stared, nearly dumbfounded at what Tavin was saying, finding himself at a loss at the moment before finally getting the words out. "You sound like The Rev," Dwight said with a disgusted expression clearly evident on his face.
Tavin	"The Rev? You mean the Reverend Edmond Driscol. You say that name with respect!"
Dwight	And as if Dwight's stare couldn't get any more incredulous, he gawked at his father. "You... you know The Reverend?"
Tavin	"Reverend Driscol and I were good friends, years ago when I was a young man." Tavin gave a cold chuckle. " I can't believe Vince, that son of a bitch, never said anything. You are not the first Hendrickson to live in Haven," Tavin said, his face breaking into a grin as he did.
Dwight	"What.... what are you..." Dwight couldn't even finish the question, his brain was overheating so much from trying to process everything he had just heard. "You knew The Rev, and Vince, and I'm assuming by proxy Dave too?"
Tavin	"I know more people from Haven then you could know. From the Guard and those who are not Troubled.... Like me." And at that point all coherent thought had left Dwight, allowing Tavin to continue uninterrupted. "Your grandfather was the Troubled one in our family" he explained, taking a slow drag on the cigarette before continuing. "There had been stories in the family, of men going back generations dying by being shot. Hunting trip mishaps, war, and accidental shootings. Your grandfather was the unluckiest of them all, as the stories went..." "He survived where others hadn't but the rumors surrounded him wherever he went, that he was a bullet magnet and was bad luck to be around. Friends, family members, and innocent bystanders always seemed to die when they were around him, all from unusual shooting and gun mishaps."
Dwight	"Because of the bullet magnetism. They'd get caught in the crossfire" Dwight said half to himself half out loud as he tried to process what he was hearing.
Tavin	"It got to the point where a local newspaper from the next town over wrote a piece about the 'mysterious mountain man who was rumored to have been shot 50 times in ten years' and the idea of the family curse was born" "A short time after that article was published someone from Haven was coming knocking on our door, telling the old man to move to Haven where he and his family would be safe. He had gotten so paranoid and so afraid of just walking out the door... it was pathetic!" Tavin said focusing on the cigarette for a moment before he continued. "His curse had cost him friends, family, and was largely blamed for the mysterious death of our mother. He was terrified to be alive but was too chicken shit to do anything about it to try and fix himself."
Dwight	Dwight gave a silent nod of 'go on' still not quite able to speak as he listened to yet more family secrets come to light.
Tavin	"Your grandfather packed up and within a week he had moved me and your uncle to Haven. Not that it did any good. He just locked himself away in the house there. Wouldn't leave. Never wanted either of us to leave the house and would yell and fight with us when we did. He was so afraid. It was pathetic what he had become. How he let the Troubles rule him and control him. He was nothing but an embarrassment to us."
Dwight	"You didn't feel the need to help him? To learn about the Troubles so you could prepare for them yourselves?" Dwight asked incredulously when he finally found his voice again.
Tavin	"There was no need to,' Tavin said simply as he took another long drag on his cigarette. "Your uncle and I aren't Troubled. We went hunting all the time in the woods outside Haven. We would shoot milk bottles and soda cans off the fence at the farm almost every day. No one got shot." "And aside from simple usual hunting-related injuries no one ever got hurt. The Troubles were just an excuse the old man used to cover up his weakness, his sin, his failures."
Dwight	"You... you aren't Troubled?" Dwight said, the look of confusion and bewilderment evident on his face. "I thought... but the Troubles they.... They travel through the family bloodlines..."
Tavin	"Not all Troubles" Tavin said simply. "Surely you have seen how diverse they can be. Generational curses travel from one descendant to the next, but the chain can be broken. Just like Reverend Driscol said."
Dwight	"Why did you leave Haven then? You were inspired by the young reverend, so why didn't you stay?"
Tavin	"There was no reason to stay after the old man died," Tavin said simply. "Haven was a prison. It was a hive of sinners and the cursed... it was little more than a prison to us and a reminder of how much of a failure our family had become. The Reverend said it was his calling to stay and shepherd the people who needed salvation..." "But that was not my calling and I hated every minute that we were trapped there. I knew my calling was to clean the family name and rid the Hendrickson line of the Troubles."
Dwight	"Typical... can't stand to deal with anything that makes you uncomfortable or that even slightly inconveniences you or doesn't align with your perfect little view of your perfect little life," Dwight said, his voice getting a cold edge to it. "Rather than accept the truth that the family has a Trouble, through no fault or wrongdoing of our own, you have to give into the lie that it's a curse. You believe the story that makes you feel the best about yourself. That you saved the family and that you are better than those in the Hendrickson line that have the Troubles!"
Tavin	Tavin looked at him for a moment before continuing, coolly, as casually as if he was talking about the weather or something normal and mundane. "The curse of the Troubles can be lifted with repentance and a godly life. Your uncle and I proved it was possible. We cleared our family's name and brought us back into god's good graces. Good people are not punished by god for their wickedness and sins. The Hendrickson Trouble, that was the judgment of god on faithless, weak, and sinful people."
Dwight	"So, you just... what?" Dwight said with a scoff, trying to keep his voice even and controlled. "Took it upon yourself to be the judge of the family, to be the one who decided what information and knowledge Helen and I did and did not deserve to know? You didn't think we deserved to know this about our family?" "It's bad enough that you kept the truth about the Troubles from us for so long. But to act like you are the judge of us? Like you are some kind of fucking savior of our entire family? Where do you get off on that kind of power trip?"
Tavin	"I figured there was no need to tell you. The Troubles are caused by sin and wickedness. A weak heart and mind. The Trouble curse falls on those deserving of judgment," Tavin said with a cold look. "I had hoped you and your sister would be strong enough to stay the course and avoid that fate. Your uncle and I gave you a clean slate and a fresh start. I had figured the two of you of all people would be smart enough to not go and fuck that up..." "Guess we now know how well that went!" he all but spat the last part as he narrowed his eyes at his son.
Dwight	"So it was all just collateral damage to you?" Dwight spat back. " Me? Lizzie? And now Helen? We were just pawns you moved around to play god and to make yourself feel better about your pathetic existence? To make you feel better about being the lucky one to not get the Trouble, for god knows whatever reason?"
Tavin	"I did what I did because I cared..."
Dwight	"No!" Dwight shouted, interrupting his father. "No, you do not get to do that. You do not get to use our suffering to paint yourself as the good person. Not this time!"
Tavin	"Who's the one who triggered the whole bullet Trouble in the first place?" Tavin asked, fixing Dwight with cold eyes. "You did it. You were fine while you were under my care. Not a sign of the Troubles anywhere. But then you had to go and run off, turn your back on my teachings, and turn your back on god. You opened yourself up to the Troubles and all but ran into them willingly." "What else would you expect other than bringing down the Troubles on yourself? It's a wonder you didn't die..." he said, that last bit a bit strained as if he was holding back what he really wanted to say in that moment.
Dwight	"A wonder, or a shame?" Dwight said accusingly. "Go head, Dad. Say it. Everything else has come out, why not that too? Go ahead, say it!"
Tavin	Tavin stared, eyes cold and unblinking for a moment, never breaking their gaze on his son as he spoke. "It is a shame you didn't die in that warehouse" he said, voice cold and even and unwavering. "Would have stopped the Troubles from finding their way back into the family. Would have saved us all the hassle of having the Trouble in the Hendrickson line again!" Tavin looked at Dwight fully and didn't even blink as he continued. "Makes one wonder... doesn't it? How much of it is you? Seems anyone associated with you, anyone connected to you, anyone close to you... they all seem to get hurt. Don't they?"
Dwight	"Sorry to have been such a disappointment" Dwight said, his eyes narrowing as the rage inside him was building up. "Guess you were wrong with your dream of me being your twin and all huh?" he added, hands clenched tightly at his side.
Tavin	"I stand by my prediction. You were Tavin. You still can be. Repentance can happen at any time. There is still a chance to come back and realize your destiny, here by my side."
Dwight	Dwight blinked, a dumbfounded look spreading over his face. "You honestly still think I want anything to do with you? After all this? After all the lies, the abuse, the deception, the manipulation? You think I want to have anything to do with you or your damned name you are so obsessed over?" Dwight's voice was getting quite loud by this point and he was having a hard time controlling himself as the words poured out. "Did you honestly think I would come crawling back to you now, tell you that you were right, and how wrong I have been? Was that what you wanted? Is that what you thought would happen?"
Tavin	"I had hoped you would see the error of your ways and come back. There is still time to do so. It is not too late to repent and see if god deems you worthy of saving."
Dwight	"Worthy..." Dwight said with a cold laugh as he stared at his hand, clenched tightly in front of him. "Unlike Helen? And Unlike Lizzie?"
Tavin	"They were judged and found lacking. Their blood is ultimately on your hands, but you can still possibly save yourself and redeem yourself..." Tavin said, the slightest hint of a smirk tugging at the corners of his lips.
Dwight	"And you think I'd want anything to do with any god that would do that... to an innocent woman, to an innocent child?" Dwight asked, shaking his head as he tried to control his breathing in that moment. "I want nothing to do with your god, or with you. Ever!" With that, Dwight turned and started to walk back up the pier, turning his back on his father. A second later, he felt a heavy hand fall on his shoulder and start to force him to turn around.
Tavin	"You do not turn your back on me, do you hear me Tavin?"
Dwight	At that moment, it all became too much for Dwight. The bombardment he had endured, the judgment of his father, and hearing that name again... it was too much for him to take and he finally lost control. As he turned around to face his father the fist that had been clenched at his side finally flew, striking Tavin square in the jaw. It was a hard hit... but not as hard as he could have, or possibly, should have given. The impact sent Tavin staggering back until he caught himself on one of the wooden posts at the edge of the pier. He stared up at Dwight a look of absolute shock and surprise as he laid a hand on the side of his face. "We are done," Dwight said coldly. "I want nothing to do with you. I do not want to see you or hear from you. Ever again." With that, he turned around one last time and walked away from his father.
Tavin	"You do not get to walk away from me!" Tavin yelled after him, though he made no move to try and go after Dwight again. "Do you hear me, Tavin? You cannot escape what you are! And you are forever cursing yourself with your ignorance! You are Tavin Dwight Hendrickson, you cannot change that! Running away is going to further damn your soul and curse everyone around you!"
Dwight	"So be it..." Dwight muttered under his breath as he continued on not stopping or looking back once as he walked off the pier and away from his father, for hopefully the last time.
Dwight	********** It was a couple hours later that Dwight staggered into the small hotel room he had found for his stay. It wasn't anything special or fancy but it was clean and comfortable. The bed wasn't half bad either, not that he was getting much sleep considering the circumstances.
Snoopy	After kicking off his shoes and shrugging out of the jacket he was still wearing, Dwight walked over and undid the latch on the crate, letting a very happy pup out to run around his feet in greeting, a bright yellow tennis ball in his mouth.
Dwight	"Hey boy... sorry I was gone for so long today" Dwight said sadly as he bent down to rub the pup behind the ears for a minute or two. "How about I make it up to you with some extra kibble mixed in with dinner tonight? What ya say?" Dwight said, forcing a small smile at the pup.
Snoopy	Food was good. Extra food was always good! Snoopy gave a happy bark and wagged his tail excitedly as he watched Dwight get the bowl ready, giving another happy yip as he set the bowl down.
Dwight	Dwight watched Snoopy for a moment, a soft smile on his face before he went over and sank onto the end of the bed, grabbed the remote and started idly flipping through the channels, looking for something to watch. He really wasn't paying much attention at all to what was flashing up on the screen. His mind was still reeling from the encounter with his father, the words still echoing in his mind.... You cannot escape what you are.... You are forever cursing yourself with your ignorance.... You are Tavin Dwight Hendrickson, you cannot change that.... Running away is going to further damn your soul and curse everyone around you... Dwight gave a slight jump of surprise as a warm wet tongue licked his hand, making him nearly drop the remote.
Snoopy	Snoopy looked up at his human and gave a soft bark and concerned whimper. He looked sad. A wet and well chewed tennis ball was sure to cheer him up, right? Snoopy dropped the ball at Dwight's feet, pawing at his leg and giving a half whimper half bark.
Dwight	Dwight smiled, unable to help himself as he slid off the edge of the bed and sat on the floor, letting the pup make a valiant attempt at drawing him with slobbery kisses. Things still really stunk... and he was still in a foul mood and not the greatest place mentally. But the stormy clouds over his head at least cleared somewhat and he got a few moments to be happy and enjoy at least part of the day.
Snoopy	Snoopy was quite content after ensuring he had thoroughly licked Dwight within an inch of his life, to curl up in his lap and watch whatever terrible yet distracting thing his human decided to put on the TV. Dogs made everything better, right?
Dwight	"So... what do you say, boy? A day or two here to try and enjoy something from this trip of ours?" Dwight said as he rubbed the pup's head, barely paying attention to whatever reality TV show he had happened to stop on. "And then heading back home to Fandom? Don't want to be gone for too long, after all."
Dwight and Snoopy	Snoopy gave a happy bark and Dwight smiled as he leaned back against the bed, Snoopy curling up against him and soon falling asleep in his arms. Dwight gave a slow sigh and breathed in deeply then slowly letting it out as he tried to still the churning waves building up inside him once again. It would be good to get back to Fandom... at least... he hoped it would....